Newsletter No. 40: MY FIRST KNIFE "The white heat of his anguish burned all anguish away and cleared the air. Beneath the glorious monotony of the stars he saw the universal mutation of earthly things, and their vanity, yet also, almost everywhere, the beginning if not the fullness of beauty; and this institution, at once rapturous and sad, liberated him from the illusions of the past and from those of the future." - George Santayana "WE HAVE MEN WATCHING EVERY ONE OF YOU, MEN WITHOUT MERCY. MEN WHO DON'T GIVE A DAMN." - JOHN ROY CARLSON Oh, it's not insomnia. It's worse than that. It's when the Gods make it known that they hate you. And so it is the dog and the phantom shadows that has him irregularly cough through the wash of early morning. It's love's job requirements. It's garbage trucks. It's money and it's whorish need to be owned, owned, owned. And in the end? When it all accretes? It all accretes around the same thing: bad, bad ideas. Like: 1) Kill the plumber 2) Kill the drummer 3) Take the heroin 4) Fuck the crazy woman 5) Go shopping And lo and behold it seems for the first time, we are not alone, the papers awash with words that seems to say that we are not alone. Planet Oxbow is fucking everywhere. And we're still broke. Genius. OUR FAVORITE WEBSITE OF THE MONTH http://www.schallerweber.com/index.html OXBOW: AN EXPLANATION "On stage Eugene seems like he'd be a bad guy. But in person he is pretty good guy. He didn't try to rape me or nothing." - M.B. (by email) While sage students of history will remember that Hitler was a vegetarian who loved children and animals, that Stalin loved movies, and that there was nothing that Pol Pot didn't like better than a good joke, most forget what this means in real practical terms. So we decided, in mini-interview format, to ask Mr. Robinson to address what in general seems to be the wide public perception that his personality has bifurcated along safely predictable lines: stage "show" versus glad-handing positivists? YOU be the judge. People Seem Very Confused When They Actually Meet You Off Stage. Particularly AFTER An OXBOW Show. Perhaps That You're Not All Maniac All The Time. Well, whether it's paucity of imagination or experience, the issue here seems to be largely that they are relieved enough by the obvious and outward indicators of general sanity POST-show that they don't ask the big questions. Even MUSIC FOR ADULTS didn't ask those though I've been told that they're thinking of doing a whole DVD extras bit on it in the future. But they didn't ask: 1) WHAT KIND OF PERSON COULD DO A SHOW LIKE THIS? 2) WHY WOULD ANYONE DO A SHOW LIKE THIS? 3) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU THAT YOU COULD DO A SHOW LIKE THIS? These are important questions, that might make the difference between waking up and NOT waking up. Care To Answer Any Of Them? No. It's YOUR job to ask the questions. Not repeat questions I've already suggested. I will tell you this though. Be careful of the counsel of those who would maintain that OXBOW is a good "act". These people are just going to get you all fucked up. Because while I'll be the first to admit that like Dali the only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad, I make no such declarative statements regarding my sociopathology. Meaning? What? You need a fucking road map? OK. I'll give you one and then I hang up the phone. While I'm not likely to murder you and fuck your girlfriend for NO GOOD REASON, I am likely to fuck your girlfriend. Your misery, notwithstanding. THAT'S what the shows should tell you. We fuck like we've been fucked: without regard for measure. But I Think The Issue Is Normalcy, Right? You Are Human. You Have Human Relationships. What They're Getting Is The Common Bond Of Humanity. You're Not Denying This Are You? Look, relationships, in my mind, are like a fight to the death, and while lots of people like to fight, not a lot of people like to fight to the death. So yes, we are QUITE convinced of OUR own humanity, it is YOURS that I frequently call into question and THIS is the subtext to the shows that continues to nettle and that is really the subtext for all of these questions and speculations regarding the OXBOW live show. We are ARTISTS, yes. But we don't give a fuck about YOU on so many different levels and in precisely the way that you don't give a fuck about US, that it seems strange to have to even tell you that desire, specifically our own personal DESIRE is the ruling principle on Planet OXBOW. Love it or leave it. SHOW ME YOURS OXBOW is playing at the Bottom of the Hill on Tuesday, JUNE 29TH w/ THEORY OF RUIN, and CORAZONADA. This will be their first post-surgical show. Watch him fall. ANOTHER FUCKING FIGHT A'BREWING, CON'T We discovered these fucks, THE OXBOW BOYS. We sent them a cease and desist letter (below). They have not the dignity to offer us a response. A basic politeness that might be the difference between an ass beating and a severe ass beating. We welcome your suggestions, legal and otherwise. To: [email protected] Subject: Oxbow THE SHOOTING GALLERY RESPONDS ENGLAND CALLING "I think the 'oxbow boys' could either be a) some sort of oxbow minions who do your evil bidding come night fall, stealing food and soiled underwear perhaps. OR b) unwilling victims of repeated sodomy {possibly orphans too??}. Hope this helps. - Jimmy Jeffers THE DOCTOR IS IN "Dear 'The Oxbow Boys', Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Gabriel Ferreira. Perhaps you've heard of my brainchild, the Institute for Higher Misanthropy. No? Well, that's alright. It's mostly just me sitting in a cold little room coaxing misfortune to visit people like you. Or, in this case, you specifically. Before I continue, I'd like to point out that I'm not unaware that this chance meeting of ours is just that. The wave of hatred and vitriol surging toward you, even as we speak, probably seems very unreasonable to you. And you're right. It has no 'reason'. Ever stepped into a hornet's nest? Hornets do not understand 'reason'. So, for our purposes here, Oxbow is just like a hornet's nest. Only much, much bigger and more prone to inexplicable acts of rage and violence. Now, I assume from your choice of band names that you are hillbilly dumbfucks so I won't go to the trouble of threatening you with skullfucking your sisters as it is most likely you've already beat me to it. No, methinks a fair and reasonable solution to the little problem of your copyright infringement might go something like this: YOU change your name. Today. Now. How about The Assbow Boys? Hell, brevity is the essence of wit. Why not The Assboys? For my part, I will not write a hefty 'field research' check to Mr. Robinson of Oxbow so that he may purchase a) screwdrivers, hammers, pliers, etc., b) enough bad speed to wipe out most of Florida, c) four or five disposable cameras and d) a plane ticket to your town. Seem REASONABLE to you? Goooood. I knew we could come to an amicable agreement. Gabriel Ferreira Institute for Higher Misanthropy WELCOME TO PLANET OXBOW "Hi Eugene, hope all is going well with the band and Skull Game, etc. I don't know whether you've heard, but Swinstead Publishing, who publish Sleaze, have gone into liquidation. I'm out of a job and writing around to everyone involved to let them know. IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAID: You need to contact the accountants overseeing the company's liquidation. Also, that drug smuggling feature was meant to go in the issue we were working on (2004 summer special). So, it's unpublished. OK, well, again, please accept my apologies, and let me know if your band is playing London soon, Best, Alex" TRANSLATION: Kiss the cash goodbye. THE SCROTUM: SACTUS MAILUS RE: QUEENS OF THE FUCKING STONE AGE "Also, speaking of 'flattery,' have you ever listened to the album 'Songs for the Deaf' by Queens of the Stone Age? There are moments when Nick Oliveri, one of the vocalists, sounds eerily like you. And I don't mean kinda. So, if you're still looking for new whipping boys (ha ha, I made a funny) Mr. Oliveri might fit the bill. Or shoe. Or boot. G" "Re: Music for Adults DVD "oh yeah, funniest bit on Music for Adults has to be the look of innocent confused trepidation on the promoter in Nottingham or somewhere's face (the one with the Rival Schools t-shirt) - "I don't know what they're like, er I'm looking forward to it" haha Hello! just got the Music For Adults DVD and it's a fantastic introduction to your schizo world - the version of Sorry is esp great - where was that shot?? I say schizo cos you guys come across as probably the nicest, most affable people offstage - I guess it's like clowns, they're the opposite aren't they, miserable f**ks offstage cos they're all clowned out, just as being confrontational misanthropic musical satan-spawn might be boring if you did it all day... Cheers! James" THIS MAN IS THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER CALL THE NUMBER LISTED AT THE TOP OF THE NEWSLETTER AND NOT HANG UP WHEN WE ANSWER. WE GAVE HIM A T-SHIRT AND POSTER FOR HIS TROUBLES. DON'T THINK WE'LL GIVE YOU THE SAME IF YOU CALL EITHER. FUCKER. "oxbow is as hardcore as shit in your mouth. i was wondering, on the song .. the killer.. who is that chick singing? also i would like to share my favorite oxbow moment... the song Sorry... like the song goes... LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW!!!! god. - Cole ManJeegus Lindsey, Arkansas FROM: "STEVE BALLINGER" Date: Sun, 6 Jun 2004 14:16:51 -0500 To: "Christian Anthony" Subject: Re: Item #DVD001 In the spirit of total disclosure, Dr. Ballinger is not only a real doctor, but also played bagpipes mouthpiece on FUCKFEST, as well as earlier musical projects with various members of OXBOW. "Dear Mr. Anthony, I enjoyed the film very much. I think that you have captured the essence of what this band is about, at least as far as I am concerned: Art is about creating a certain mood and emotion in an audience. Art is about creating a desired reaction from the observer. Art is not about giving people what they want or letting voyeurs watch as real-life drama unfolds. I have heard people compare Eugene to everyone from Iggy Pop to Sid Vicious to Jim Morrison. The difference is: Eugene is an actor portraying someone on the brink of losing his mind, and beyond. He is giving an electrifying performance, in the character of one who life and love have raped and left for dead. The beauty of it all is that Eugene isn't really a Suicidal maniac who ought to be institutionalized. He's an artist plying his craft. I imagine most people who see OXBOW perform figure that Eugene will not be around for long--either the law or mental health providers will take him away, or he'll do himself in. Your film gives OXBOW fans something that they probably could never have otherwise--a true picture of the men behind the menace. By showing the band as the "regular Joes" they are, you allow people to realize what OXBOW really is--brilliant. As is your film. NEXT MONTH: AN ABU GHARIB-LIKE EXPLOSION OF LOVE AND KINDNESS [ Newsletter ]