Newsletter No. 32: THE COLLAPSE OF THE VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE IN PRACTICE

"Given total power over another human, the human being will find that his thoughts turn to torture."-Amis

Hahaha. We're laughing so hard over here that we're sick, absolutely SICK with jocosity. We mean the fucking laughter never stops and so then much like the great Lord Dunsany story about The Three Infernal Jokes we know that our amusement is not driven by joy but by a much darker and angry angel.

The Bureau d'Exchange du Mal, indeed.

In any case we won't bore you with the details since you'd immediately reject the full on (and desired by us...despite what we say) sympathetic response as our problems are like most peoples' most ardently desired fantasies, just know this: we are guilty of nothing except loving, not poorly, but perhaps unwisely. And in the ass.

So it is that a mini-tour has just ended. Eugene did some spoken word shows, showed MUSIC FOR ADULTS. Told some stories which everyone was believing were lies but which you all know were the goddamned god's honest truth, meeting with publishers, TV folk and Jews for Jesus. It was a grand party. And getting to see STEVE GULLICK, NATHAN from CAPRICORN, RAY, CHIZ, M-AH, NEAL from WALRUS, ESTHER, DAVE, PW LONG, CLARE, the MEN from TODD, the folks from SOUTHERN, and most of all ALEX, well just gave that young feller some gun-sucking pause because the world is not that horrible of a place after all if these people haven't been murdered yet.

So instead of the usual post-tour suicidal malaise, Eugene's running around fired by the full on joy of life and he wants to LIVE, LIVE, LIVE!!!! Which means he will inevitably meet with an untimely end right about now.

And on that note we want to send our condolences out to BRADLEY TORRANCE's family. He died an untimely death after checking into the hospital for what was supposed to be "routine" surgery. He is survived by two young daughters, a wife and it sucks. Really. You don't know him but he was a good guy. And he's dead. And Dick Cheney lives on. Jesus. The world can be a horrible place.

But our next stop on the road of OXBOW will be OCTOBER 10th at the BOTTOM LOUNGE in Chicago and OCTOBER 11th at the FUTILITY FESTIVAL in Youngstown, Ohio.

Then Niko goes out with SWELL for like 3 weeks, then he gets back, and we start working on THE NARCOTIC STORY. Which in this instance could be a record. Or could be a crippling dependency on smack. Only time will tell.

And time will tell a few other things as well:

1) these newsletters will finally be getting shorter. Mostly because we going into a period of doing not much of goddamned anything but reading, writing, and recording and that's about as interesting as watching us scratch.
2) We're thinking of publishing some of these tour diary, newsletter things in book form if anybody even remotely shows any interest in this. This will allow Eugene to do smoking word shows with something other than his dick in his hand.
3) YOU WANT TO SEE US ANY TIME SOON, book the OXBOW movie MUSIC FOR ADULTS in a local venue. Eugene will show up, collect the money, drink the wine, be amusing or at least amused, and then leave you all if not wiser, then with a little less self-respect.
4) Drugs will be done. Don't do any...without sending us some first.
5) And finally we still a) WANT TO PLAY LA....any help you can give in this regard will be greatly appreciated, b) want someone who is willing to flow some free tattoo action for barter and finally c) want money to finish the OXBOW-directed movie, also named, THE NARCOTIC STORY.

So it goes.


SHOW ME YOURS

Oct. 10: Chicago, IL, THE BOTTOM LOUNGE w/ UNSANE, TURBO AC'S - OXBOW - GASOLINE FIGHT, showtime:
8:00pm / price: $10 / 18+

Oct. 11: The Futility Festival, Youngstown, OHIO

1am Helios Creed
12am Oxbow
11pm Bakerton Group
10pm Pelican
9pm Placer
8pm Dysrhthmia
7pm Electric Turn to Me
6pm Jumbos' Killcrane
5pm Totimoshi
4pm Axehandle
3pm The Abandonded Hearts Club

"The event is an indoor festival, though the parking lots yield plenty of interacting between bands and fans throughout the three days."-Tour Brochure

KRISTIN from NEUROT comments: "Does this quote from a posting about the Futility Festival strike you as some kind of recipe for disaster, especially given that OXBOW is listed as a headliner?

OXBOW responds: maaaayyyyybbbbeeee.....


IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER GODDAMNED ALL:
THE OXBOW INTERNATIONAL PAVILION
"Une image forte : cette mamie accompagnant sa petite-fille et faisant illico demi-tour face � la vision du chanteur d'Oxbow sid�rant le public. L'homme est un Noir sculptural, ses yeux sont exorbit�s, des pentacles sont tatou�s sur ses �paules, il brandit les poings comme pour chercher la bagarre et surtout, il ne porte qu'une paire de chaussures noires vernies et un slip moulant en coton blanc rendu transparent par une abondante transpiration. La musique est une splendide exhumation du meilleur du noise rock des 90s. Question : l'inqui�tant chanteur allait-il sortir son cobra de son antre de textile et l'agiter tel le charmeur de serpent ? R�ponse : oui, il allait.--
www.hautvol.fr.fm


WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY YELLING?

MORE WORD ON THE LARGE SAC'D AND EIGHTH WONDER OF THE FUCKING MODERN WORLD: OXBOW!!!

OXBOW
An Evil Heat
CD Neurot Recordings

Sexo, dor e desejo. Sem saber Catherine Breillat encontrou o seu alter-ego masculino. D� pelo nome de Eugene Robinson � o front-man dos Oxbow, banda com mais de 10 anos de estrada e cujas performances e discos j� impressionaram figuras como Marianne Faithfull, Steve Albini e Lydia Lunch. Depois de um hiato de cinco anos este conjunto de S�o Francisco parece apostado em agitar os nossos s�t�os. E f�-lo. O Com Eugene a cuspir maldi��es e a esfregar o sexo. Berrando: "I got couch sluts of every stripe, sir, boys and girls and the in-between types". Ou segredando-nos sob uma amea�adora linha de baixo frases como "the cockhorse, teeth like sugar cubes/ Play the blues, balls hanging/ Between his between, like crab apples... hating his hide, and hiding his hate/ Potentate of the small, and the great". � volta destes peda�os de paraliteratura na melhor tradi��o de Sade/Masoch, encontramos uma tabuleta que nos convida a uma viagem as nossos infernos. O cicerone � a pr�pria m�sica: Noise-rock brutal, insidioso (que chega a "calar" Jarboe, a convidada feminina do disco) e ordinariamente �pico. Excelente para estes tempos de modorra e riso f�cil. Comecem com "The Snake &..." e terminem com esse portento que � "Shine (Glimmer)". Eugene n�o vos ir� poder assustar, � claro. "Evil Heat" deixar-vos-� pensar. Com a m�o no cora��o. Ou na boca. (9/10)--Jos� Marmeleira , (Mondo Bizarre # 15
http://www.mondobizarre.com/d_oxbow_15.html


NEWSFLASH-THE RESULTS ARE IN: EUGENE FINDS NEW JUDAS GOAT TO FOCUS IRE ON

Well it took a lot of haverering and hemming and hawing and your suggestions poured in but this is in total a totally difficult process by which Eugene takes imagined or more often than not real slights, magnifies them into a colossal indignity that requires redress and then proceeds to haunt the perpetrator like a fucking Golem.

And the winner in this instance is.....

JACK BLACK!!!

But hey, we'll just let Eugene tell it.

"Well it was like 1992 and I, knee deep in some steroid insanity, was hanging around with playwrite CINTRA WILSON and she, in full-blown �TAKE A NEGRO TO TEA' fashion figured to show me a little culture so she had me meet her in LA where we'd meet and greet the young, the beautiful, the talented.

"So's we go to some cafe to meet some people from 'The Actor's Gang' some young comedy, improv theater troupe bit of self-importance that makes you want to cut your eyes out to spend even 15 minutes with them. And so while I'm graciously receiving these fucks and wondering how long before we can get back to the NAKEDNESS she says �Oh. You might actually like my ex Jack.'

"But I don't give a shit who he is. I'm going to be nice anyway. Anyways this dwarf shows up and proceeds to fucking FUCK with me in a way that nowadays that my fuse is virtually non-existent would get him an immediate head whipping but back in those days when I was blissed out on DECA DUROBOLIN and my sense of well being could withstand a thermonuclear blast I was just kind of gently bemused that he cared enough to make fun of me.

"Of course over the years, as his bank account has grown and mine has stagnated it's suddenly not so fucking funny anymore and I'm seeking redress by way of an angry and hastily delivered ass kicking. Like Dennison I know I will see him again. Unlike Dennison I will recognize him immediately. And unlike me last time no amount of blandishments will peel me off of his fat, white ass. You heard it hear first. Now tell the world."


THE SCROTUM

LADYKILLERS!!!
"hey Eugene,
craig from TODD here. steve gullick (he lost the fonzie hair do)tells me you're doing a spoken word thing on the 27 sept here. todd are playing all the goddamned way across town that night so i'll probably miss it fuck. you doing any other nights in london or england?

wonderful diary btw.

I especially liked the picture of the pretty irish lass. She looks like she feels more naked than the day she was born and she probably didn't realize that was possible! I bet she spent the evening either taking part in a conversation she wasn't interested in or concentrating on an empty glass on the table just to avoid the red lazer beams coming out of your eyes!!-craig"


FUCK JEFFERSON WILSON

"Fuck ME ?

How flattered I am that a bit of spontaneous existential insight and bitter sarcasm has in some way molded your perception of the 'reality' that you inhabit. It is with some regret and caution, however, that I must tell you these perceived pearls of wisdom that have been malformed into your new mantra actually came from a pamphlet called: 'Techniques for Dealing With Problem Teens'. The voices you hear cannot be attributed to me. I cannot tell you where the voices are coming from, Mr. Robinson, but I would suggest first checking the gun locker, then perhaps the medicine cabinet. Finally, check in your pants (also known as 'the gun locker').

Now that this current movement, however, is well underway, "Fuck Jeff Wilson", I must get back to masterminding my latest and most challenging project, something I'd like to call "Go Down on Jeff Wilson" or "Just Fucking Blow Me". This will take all the guile and cunning I can conjure. Chicanery even. Thank you for your ongoing support.

In the words of he known only as The Argentine [see www.skullgame.com--editors] I must say to you, Keep your dick on.

Truly,

Jefferson C. Wilson"


WHEN READING THE FOLLOWING LIST IMAGINE THE WRITER AT HOME SCRIBBLING ALL OF THIS SHIT ON LOOSE LEAF PAPER. YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. IMAGINE THAT SHIT.

"For Eugene's Pleasure:

Vagina, Pussy, Bearded Clam, Vertical Smile, Beaver, Cunt, Trim, Hair Pie, Bearded Ax Wound, Tuna Taco, Fur Burger, Cooch, Cooter, Punani, Snatch, Twat, Lovebox, Box, Poontang, Cookie, Fuckhole, Love Canal, Flower, Nana, Pink Taco, Cat, Catcher's Mitt, Muff, Roast Beef Curtains, The Cum Dump, Chocha, Black Hole, Sperm Sucker, Fish Sandwich, Cock Warmer, Whisker Biscuit, Carpet, Love Hole, Deep Socket, Cum Craver, Cock Squeezer, Slice Of Heaven, Flesh Cavern, The Great Divide, Cherry, Tongue Depressor, Clit Slit, Hatchet Wound, Honey Pot, Quim, Meat Massager, Chacha, Stinkhole, Black Hole Of Calcutta, Cock Socket, Pink Taco, Bottomless Pit, Dead Clam, Cum Crack, Twat, Rattlesnake Canyon, Bush, Cunny, Flaps, Fuzz Box, Fuzzy Wuzzy, Gash, Glory Hole, Grumble, Man In The Boat, Mud Flaps, Mound, Peach, Pink, Piss Flaps, The Fish Flap, Love Rug, Vadge, The Furry Cup, Stench-Trench, Wizard's Sleeve, Dna Dumpster, Tuna Town, Split Dick, Bikini Bizkit, Cock Holster, Cockpit, Snooch, Kitty Kat, Poody Tat, Grassy Knoll, Cold Cut Combo, Jewel Box, Rosebud, Curly Curtains, Furry Furnace, Slop Hole, Velcro Love Triangle, Nether Lips, Where Uncle's Doodle Goes, Altar Of Love, Cupid's Cupboard, Bird's Nest, Bucket, Cock-Chafer, Love Glove, Serpent Socket, Spunk-Pot, Hairy Doughnut, Fun Hatch, Spasm Chasm, Red Lane, Stinky Speedway, Bacon Hole, Belly Entrance, Nookie, Sugar Basin, Sweet Briar, Breakfast Of Champions, Wookie, Fish Mitten, Fuck Pocket, Hump Hole, Pink Circle, Silk Igloo, Scrambled Eggs Between The Legs, Black Oak, Republic Of Labia, Juice Box, Golden Palace, Fetus Flaps, Skins, Sausage Wallet, Holiest Of Holies, Sugar Hole, The Death Of Adam, Home Plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, Crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brake Pads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, Kitty Cage, Chicken's Tongue, Conch Shell, Crack Of Heaven, Dog's Mouth, Door Of Life, Fly Catcher, Fruit Cup, Jelly Roll, Lobster Pot, Bunny Tuft, Knish, Her Asshole Neighbor, Lotus, Nappy Dugout, Moneymaker, Womens Weapon, Tackle Box, Bone Hider, Red Sea, Pizzo, Jizz Receptacle, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, Hairy Heaven, Furry 8 Ball Rack, Crave Cave, Arbys With Fur, Fish Canyon, Tool Shed, Snake Charmer, Furby, Enchilada Of Love, Ham Sandwich, Camarillo Brillo, Brazilian Caterpillar, Dick Rack, Boy In The Canoe, Flesh Tuxedo, Mound Of Venus, Queef Quarters, Venus Butterfly, Cooter, Cream Canal, Poontang Pie, Wet Mark, Private Area, Thresher, Punash, Salami Garage, Tunnel Of Love, Slurpee Machine, Pink Cookie, Penalty Box, Ground Zero, Meat Crease, Bait, Birth Canal, Holy Grail, Pole Hole, Pork Pie, Fuzz Bucket, One-Eyed Python Trail, Bubble Gum By The Bum, Stink Rink, Theme Park, Saloon Doors, Pink Truffle, Bitter & Twisted, Burger Bar, Meat Counter, Temperamental Ring Piece, Python Syphon, Big Bud, The Wombsday Book, The Condo Downstate, Snake Lake, The Indoor Barbecue, Pound Cake, Beef Tomato, Tickled Pink, Launch Pad, Horn Of Plenty, The Indoor Picnic, Hamper Of Goodies, Flapped Bap, Bonefish, Close Encounter With The Turd Kind, Sperm Bank, Man's Charity Bash, Bush Tucker, Midnight Dip, The One-Door Vulva, The Welcome Opponent, The Twatlantic Ocean, Temporary Lodgings, Field Of Dreams, Bean, Cooze, Old Catchers Mitt, Devil's Hole, Lucy, Pish Buffet, Pooswaa, Poonaner, Davey Jones Locker, Pink Panther, Tinker Bell, South Mouth, Dick Eater, Wonder Bread, Wolly Bolly, Foxhole, Hot Pocket, Head Catcher, Lawrence Of A Labia, Silk Funnel, Dick Driver, Purple People Penis Eater, Meat Curtains, Ponchita, Cherry Pop Tart, Fat Rabbit, Scunt, Pee Jaws, Mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., Stench Trench, Poon Jab, Nappy Dugout, Babyoven, Penis Parking, Cooter Muffin, The Promised Land, Cock Pocket, Cha Cha, The Shrine, Bitch Ditch, Fury Pink Mink, Mammal Hole, Ever-Lasting Cum Stopper, The Toothless Blow Job, Happy Flappy, Wilt Chamberlian's Daily Glove, The Code Defierthe Salt Water Taffy Factory, Mommy's Pie, The Easy Bake Oven, The Deflower Patch, The Virginator, The Schlong Sucker, The Dead Bone Patch, The Vegitarian's Temptation, The Vegan Store, The Blow Hole, The Pump Protector, Bag Pipe, Spitball Bullseye, Meat Wagon, Pickle Stinker, Jezebel's Smell, Yoni, Willys Haven, Scrumpter, Peach, Sweat Box, Yeast Pocket, Penis Warmer, Tampon Tunnel, Penis Pothole, Cucumber Canal, Egg Drop Box, Sperm Shack, Dick Dungeon, Cock Curator, B.O.B.'S Bungalow, Mommy Parts, Tuna Pot Pie, Nice Slice, Peter Vise, Cock Sock, Rack Of Clam, Peters Grove, Penis Purse, Grandest Canyon, Fish Dish, Banana Box, Tuna Spread, Pink Portal, Count Fapula, Red River Gorge, Happy Valley, Revolving In/Out Door, Baby Zipper, Richards House, Stop-N-Pop, Bone Polisher, Packin Shack, Weiner Wrap, Clap Trap, Camel Toe, Dildo Hotel, Axe Gash, Pearl Hotel, Sea Food Six Pack, Clam Canal, Coose Canal, Dick Deposit, Wand Waxer, Vidgie, Erie Canal, Candy Kiss, Gauntlet, Round Mound Of Beehound,Lick N' Stick, Lap Flounder, Tomahawk Chop, Chin-Chin, Pachinko, Cuntry Pie, Lip Tip, The Big Casino, One Eyed Worm Hole, Amazon Forest, Cock Cave, Fuck Donut, Coochie Pop, Babby, Wet Seal, Pissy Froth Hole, Bald Biscuit, The Unmentionable, Mans Ruin, Peeshie, Hairy Potter, Courtney Cocksleve, Panty Hamster, Deep Pink, Jaws Of Life, Gizmo, Faith, Cock Magnet, Slippery Slide, Meat Tunnel, Pink Heaven, Squid, Dick Basket, Hot Spot, Poochika, Pudding, Bowl, Love Cave, Squeeze-Box, Quim, Honey Pot, The Bone Collector, Goodie Basket, Depository, Pink Turtleneck, Bread-Box, Little Debbie, Pole Hole, Pandora's Box, Snail Tracker, Cuntzilla, Homebase, Pud Pocket, Bear Trap, Indian Bones And The Temple Of Poon, Chanch, Big Montana, Noochie, Choot, Golden Valley, Nappy Roots, Dick Mitten, Mystical Fold

NEXT MONTH: THE INVASION OF FRANCE!!!


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