Here we are and we're back again to borrow script from our favorite PCP-smoking, conk-sporting, shotgun shooting, high-speed chase having Godfather of Soul. OXBOW is in the midst of marathon recording right about now. What is meant by this is very different from what you might be imagining. You're imagining us sitting totally Lennon/McCarthy-like smoking cigs until 2 and 3 in the morning with headphones on our heads while looking wistful and so goddamned soulful and artistic that you just couldn't stand it.

Sorry.

In Oxbownia "marathon" means we remember that we need to record something, schedule a recording, forget to invite our intrepid producer, the stone-faced genius Gibbs Chapman, reschedule, finally get into the studio only to sleep fitfully through recording exactly 13 seconds of some sort of sub-sonic symphonic bit that will bridge between one unfinished song and another. It's the kind of schedule that caused STEVE ALBINI to say "yeah, well I'll give you 10 days," when he recorded our last record, Serenade in Red. So like I said we're back to recording Oxbow the old-fashioned way. More on this later.

SAS: an acronym that identifies that peculiar brand of people who upon leaving the house can't stumble their way clear to wearing anything more than Sweats and Sandals. Greedy, bread-gobbling malingerers who disguise their total and complete lack of worth by cleaving unto comfort as their guiding principle. They are in fact commonly and incorrectly identified as "lazy fucks," when in fact the malicious nature of their dangerously reckless self-serving behavior qualifies them, medically speaking, as "pieces of shit." Ex.: Oxbow drummer Greg Davis who, while not fond of either sweats or sandals, has rarely been seen wearing anything other than shorts in public and has taken 2 years (and counting) to finish working on my car.

SES: a noun or a verb but mostly an acronym for the Florence (or Frank, depending on your bent) Nightingales that work tirelessly to alleviate suffering--we're talking quality of life issues here--that through the selfless dedication of a few hardworking Semen Extraction Specialists have alleviated the plight (lightened the load even) of men everywhere.

CSA: the prevailing Oxbowian concept of Compulsory Self-Advancement. It's too long to go into here but suffice it to say that it involves push-ups, haircuts and beatings every 20 minutes.

Hello, my name's Jakob, and I'm the mouth of ToYo Records in San Francisco.

Hello Jakob. You are a mouth? Good. We can always find things to do with a mouth around here.

I'm writing to ask you if Oxbow would be interested in taking part in a compilation to be released by us in the winter of this year. We're a huge fan of yours and would be beyond honored if you'd take part.

OXBOW's Answer:

We will talk amongst ourselves and contact you with our decision. Unless we forget. In which case we will be thinking about other things and you may have to remind us. Which, if you are really a fan, shouldn't be too hard to do.

So far ToYo has released music by such bands as: The KG, Quintron, Cattle Decapitation, The Need, Bobby Conn, I love Bobby Conn. Pink and Brown, The Champs, same with The Champs. Melt Banana, Joan Of Arc, Zeek Sheck, The Lowdown, Lozenge, Thrones, Impaled, Armatron, Sicbay, same again with Sicbay. Rubber O Cement, I Am Spoonbender, Deerhoof, Octant, MeMe America, Colossamite, Colossamite? same again.

The theme of the comp is twenty second songs. Every song should be close if not exactly twenty seconds. There will be about 150 to 200 tracks and will be released on double vinyl and double 5" CD. If you're so inclined, two tracks are welcome as well. Any form of recording is acceptable, from 42 track to 4 track, and DAT or CD-R is preferable. We'd prefer exclusive songs, or at least songs you won't release until at least a few months after the comp is out.

Okay.

The deadline for the songs is the end of Spring, 2001.

well since I didn't know that spring had sprung perhaps you could give us an actual date. Some of the people taking part thus far include: Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Flying Luttenbachers, Sachiko M, Matmos, Mirai (from the band Sigh solo), Erase Errata, Magas, Melt Banana, The Willem Breuker Kollektief, Nautical Almanac, Blechtum from Blechdom, The Need, Lightning Bolt, Fred Frith, Thrones, Zeek Sheck, Impaled, Benumb, Dillinger Escape Plan, Burmese, Glenn Branca, Kid 606, Tracy and the Plastics, Deerhoof, Hatewave, Alec Empire, Pink & Brown, Wolf Eyes, Exhumed, Joan Of Arc, Concentric, XBXRX, The Red Scare, Arab On Radar, Dark Noerd, Subtonix, The Haggard, Beast People, Rah Bras, and many others.

yeah yeah, fine. Listen, while I'd like to chat forever with you, I was wondering if you have anybody really hot that works at your label? If so, I'd like to request that you have THEM handle all of the OXBOW correspondence...I mean as a small favor to me. If you have no hot pieces of ass there almost any other kind would do too actually, since I'm guessing that there's no financial remuneration for this 20 seconds of glory we'd be giving you (?)...and now that we're on 20 seconds of glory, you should let the above mentioned hot pieces of ass know that we can deliver at least that. To learn more about ToYo or this comp, go to our website at www.toyorecords.com, or email me at [email protected]. Again, we'd love to see you take part.

well if you're still not dissuaded from having us be involved, we'll talk about it and let you know... I think this album will be great!

of course.
thank you for your time,

don't mention it.

cheers,
ER
PsS remember: hotS piecesS ofS ass!
OUR ASSES, THEIR FACES