LIMOGES FESTIVAL
How do you know that you're at a goddamned Festival? Using these handy dandy steps you too will able to identify the surefire signs that you are at a dirty fucking hippie laden hipster fest.

1) hacky sacks: see that Teva sandal wearing fuckwad batting about the scrotum toy with his pleasantly sexless companions? Yes. You're at a festival. In fact the same goes for
2) what we like to call DIG �EM STIX. Two sticks, the party fucking equivalent of rhythmic gymnastics. HEY HEY LOOK AT ME�I'M AN ASS WITH TWO STICKS.
3) Plastic laminates for EVERYthing.
4) Men with plastic laminates shrugging "I DON'T KNOW" to almost any question you might ask.
5) Women hitchhiking who change their goddamned minds about hitch-hiking suddenly when we stop and offer "rides".

And Limoges is no different.

We see all of the above in vast profusion IMMEDIATELY on getting here. HERE being many hours from Paris to which we must return in the hopes that our real equipment has shown up.

We're late and so we rush to the stage while I stagger around in the grass out behind the tent and think of the circus sodomites and felons that infest the carny experience in any given American town on any given day.

SEE THE AMAZING COCK BOY!! HE SCREECHES!! HE HOWLS!! HE FUCKS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF TOWN!!!"

I do this until they weave me back toward the stage and we start playing and things are going along as well as ever until 75% through the show large chunks of the audience begin FLEEING. Out of an audience of 800 people we'd be talking about like 200 of them running for the exits like the place was on fire.

I'm about to start running myself until I notice the set is over and the trembling stage manager explains what's happened:

Late for our set an OXBOW fan who had driven all the way from god knows where gets to the Man With the Plastic Laminate Shrugging stage of gaining entrance and tries to talk to him.

Fan: I need to get my car through here. I came all the way down for OXBOW.

Shrugging Man: I don't know.

Fan: I KNOW. That's them starting now�

Shrugging Man: I don't know.

Fan: AGGGHHHHH�.

At such point he used his car to ram the gates and in one swell fell swoop hospitalized the MAYOR of Limoges AND got himself thrown in jail, but the festival attendees heard that some guy was killing people at the gate and naturally they all ran to see. See, THOSE suicidal adventure seekers were the REAL OXBOW fans. They just don't fucking know it yet.

So we play and of course drive back to Paris like maniacs to get our equipment. Which we've now been told is in Chicago. Which is really fucking inconvenient as we play Lyon tomorrow.

Sleep.