TheOXBOW.com: OXBOW - Trouble That Will Trouble The World

Tour Diary: 2001 > Page 2

THE ROAD TO CHICAGO

So Eugene and Greg drove there, Niko and the intrepid Chris "Don't Call Me Fozzy" Holden would drive back, and Dan "First Class Only" Adams would fly both ways. I don't know why Greg chose to drive with me, Eugene - but having seen Deliverance several times I'm sure it was the comforting thought of me being armed.. hmmm... Like I said, I don't know why Greg chose to drive with me.

Anyways he was committed to tour OXBOW Euro style. Hotels and such and the first night I thought this was fine. We got to the Red Roof Inn and it WAS cool. I took a shit, shower and a shave. Midway through I ran into the parking lot wearing only a towel and scared away the only other person on that side of the building (in actual fact he just reparked his car... under some lights... and put the alarm on) to grab some more stuff. After my toilette I, half naked, began unpacking my stuff and placed the video camera on the desk, next to the .45 auto, a bottle of lotion, and the lap top computer.

"I'm not liking the looks of THIS." I look over and see Greg warily eyeing my spread and it takes me a beat to realize what he's talking about. Then it takes me another beat to realize that we could easily make this tour break even by filming as much forced anal entry movies as one man, that would ME, could foist on another man, that would be GREG.

Against Greg's fervert hopes this did NOT happen and before we could say "wake up call" we were on the road again.

NEGROES, NEGROES EVERYWHERE AND NOT A DROP TO DRINK

We made it into Chicago with nary a single homosexual incident that we're willing to talk about and began to try to find the airport to find the rest of OXBOW. We deviated from Tone Deaf's extremely right-on directions and under my careful ministrations took several side streets, back streets, and jackleg turns.

While driving along I become vaguely aware of Greg's increasing discomfort. Especially when contrasted with my extreme comfort. And notice that possibly it's related to the extremely large numbers of Negroes we're now surrounded by.

Ah. Back to urban centers, Negro fashions, and cars stopped in the middle of intersections while their occupants converse with fellows named ReRe and Junebug, also heedlessly parked in the middle of intersections.

Genius.

As we wend our way toward O'Hare Airport I tell Greg the parable of The Chased and Beaten White Man (thumbnail sketch: a White Man, while being chased and beaten, meditates, while being surrounded by angry Negroes, about whether this is what it feels like for Black guys when they have to, say, go to a supermarket in Los Altos, California. I mean without all of the chasing and beating). He had not heard of it.

Anyway, we get the rest of OXBOW together, despite the fact that the airport is crawling with cops freaked that just the day before someone actually made it on the airplane with 9 knives, a stun gun and some pepper spray. I don't know why this guy had all this shit or why the security check point person let him slide but if I could arrange to have my flight in from Columbia next month SIMILARLY overlooked I'd be MUY ALLEGRE! If you catch my drift.